HAHA: Ted Cruz Savagely Rips Apart Attacker “I’m Thankful The Clown Who Threw His White Claw Had A Noodle For An Arm”


Disclaimer:  This article may contain the personal views and opinions of the author.

During the Houston Astros World Series championship parade, politics reared its ugly head as boos came from the parade crowd. U.S. Senator Cruz of Texas went by on a float in a military-style vehicle as part of the celebration for winning the World Series over the weekend. 

Others riding in the vehicle reacted quickly to shield the senator from flying cans coming towards his head. 

The cans hit Cruz in the arm. Videos of the attack circulated around several social media sites. 

The Houston Police Department made an arrest following the incident. They took Joseph Helm Arcidiacono, 33, into custody and charged him with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. 

The statement from HPD: 

 “HPD made one arrest during today’s victory parade. A male, 33, threw a beer can at U.S. Senator Ted Cruz as the Senator was on a float in the 2400 block of Smith St.”

“The beer can struck the Senator in the chest/neck area. The Senator did not require medical attention. Nearby HPD officers arrested the male without further incident.

He was taken to jail and faces assault charges.

We will release the suspect’s name and booking photo here when formal charges are filed.”

Senator Cruz lives in the Houston area and was in attendance at several of the World Series games between the Astros and the Philadelphia Phillies. 

The Harris County prosecutor’s office filed court documents stating that the defendant “threw two unopened twelve-ounce liquor cans at Senator Ted Cruz during the Astros championship parade, striking the senator and causing him pain; the defendant threw the two cans from approximately twenty feet away.”

The judge set bail at $40,000. The public defender representing Arcidiacono argued that the bail should be only $100 because the cans do not meet the “requirements of being considered a deadly weapon.” 

The attorney cited a 2003 Texas criminal appeals case. In that case, there was a requirement stating that a deadly weapon needs to have “more than a hypothetical capability of causing death or serious bodily injury.”

She argued that Arcidiacono was at a distance of about 20 feet from the senator and therefore it doesn’t meet those requirements. 

Ted Cruz, who was not seriously hurt, made a statement about the incident. He said, “As always I’m thankful for the Houston Police and Capitol Police for their quick action.” 

Then he added this burn, “I’m also thankful that the clown who threw his White Claw had a noodle for an arm.” Boom roasted! 

If Cruz was a Democrat, this story would be all over the mainstream media. They’d be blaming it on the mega MAGA Trump supporters. 

Violence directed toward our government officials should be condemned no matter which letter follows their name. We as Americans need to agree to that simple premise and bring more civility into politics. 

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